HELLO 2016

Another dark morning when we all wake up, Winter has arrived the last few weeks!  Here is a few minutes reading today whilst you are in bed hopefully waking up with a cuppa. or for the time it publishes to facebook a bit of lunch time reading. A cuppa is just what us brits need to prepare us before the day starts rolling into one big ball of stress ... or  may be you are one of those really lucky people where everything is just tickety boo but from what I've found in life so far that is like finding a four leaf clover.

Well, Things are Certainly different from the last time i posted on here. I don't even know where to start. So lets pretend you are all up to date until December and i'll take it from the top there.

 The most dramatic events is a new member to our family Kenzie, who is a cockapoo, and which was suppose to be the best Christmas present ever. However as the story will reveal, I really felt a  twat about this whole dog buying adventure being the best idea i've had for a while.

Upon reflection I could have done things different and here is my theory of how this little adventure got me all emotionally ruined.

.....................I failed at my own rule in life ..................................

Rule number one.

Accept to Expect nothing.

Expect nothing is my foremost important rule in life that I have learnt so far. You will never be disappointed, you will never ever be let down and you most certainly will never be pissed off with yourself.
You can expect a lot from yourself yes, as you have the power to change your thoughts, your abilities and your knowledge however in expecting others to be a certain way is simply setting yourself up for a very bad mood. You can't control it, it's a ball ache to persuade it, so my theory is accept to expect nothing.

I admit  I bent the rule on this one, i got very very excited about the look on my husbands face when I came home with the dog that he has wanted for like years! not to mention how my mind had wondered into how my now nearly 8 year old would have a new fury best friend. The football in the garden together etc etc. The Summer walks, The house a little fuller than it was before. Exciting times i thought. My husband deserves this, my family wants this, i work from home, it's totally right- I THOUGHT!
Who was i kidding, I am a realist, I know that white picket fences and the perfect families are all but a show for the outside world... and nothing when it becomes a reality... is ever as it seems.

SOOO... I bring the dog home on Friday night, first time i have ever lied to my husband about anything. HE thought i was in ikea getting blinds so he rushed home to get the measurements and got all his tools out the car. Even after finding out he made a special journey home to provide me with critical information about the blinds i was not buying.... i still continued the lies, "oh no signal in ikea" ... "can't go back the blinds were naff", When i finally arrive home from this magical journey   Empty handed he is non the Wiser to the new dog just metres outside. His sister is outside with the dog and whilst we are playing who let the dogs out....trying to get him to join us in the new dance craze but unfortunately he was not taking the bate ' why would i want to make myself look like a clown dancing.. no I'm aright thanks'. So as me and Casey (our niece)  are dancing away and Louise came in with little fluff ball kenzie. All of this part went to plan, apart from him not dancing,he was very happy, family was happy, lots of smiles lots of giggles, i even saw a tear! Plus lots and lots of shock that i had gone out on a whim and bought a dog. It was a very happy exciting night, an injection of fun and love had just been administered to our home.

NOW, i'm known for not doing the most clever of things but i certainly would not have, what i have now if, if i did sensible things. This may be a rare occasion and perhaps because it's a leap year that i admit.. . That was probably the worst decision i have ever made. I had taken full responsibility for sneaking around buying a dog that my Husband didn't know about but everyone else did. The blame for what happens next lie solely on me.

The morning after the dog has arrived i thought something was waaaay wrong. She hardly moved looked so sad and was falling over. Wow i thought this house is even too crazy for a puppy. That lasted an hour before i got real concerned and phoned the vet and my husband at work. When he got back we went to the vets and i said "she looks like she is dying, i think she's dying" to which my husband laughed and said

1. you thought you were having a heart attack and it was indigestion.

2. you thought you had malaria after holiday ... it was food poising.

3. Shes just been taken away from her mum your over reacting she's home sick

Now i can see why my husband may think that I'm a little dramatic with stuff, so i gave him a spouse pardon with these comments considering the circumstances. But man his face when the vet said this could be parvo and if it is the chances aren't good and we will have to have her put down.

Boom.. there it was, right outside pets at home car park after our pup had been admitted, 12 hours after getting her,  right in front of all the people that were shopping in the aldi next door, that's where i did it, that's where i broke down and did something I rarely do. I cried, so bad i couldn't breath. The first thought that came into my head was how someone could sell a puppy with that awful disease and let them die, and all the other poor pups, how could i have been so stupid!

  Then it occurred to me that this was a christmas gift,SHIT, what an awful awful gift, Merry Christmas, here is a dead dog. Fucking hell. You actually couldn't write it! who wants a dead dog? no one!
Even the TV tells you dogs aren't for christmas, Damn they even have bumper signs that say this, everyone knows what they look like there's so many of them, they are yellow ones that always always say dogs aren't for christmas.  I ignored everything in making this decision and i EXPECTED this to be fabulous when i should have accepted to expect nothing.

It's not very often i think... man that was a bad decision, usually it's well i tried, it failed but i wouldnt have known without trying, but this was different. This had emotional attachment to our family instantly and this decision i made effected everyone's emotions. I was absolutely gutted, mortified, scared of what would happen and worried because i had turned up with a dog that i pushed financially to get, to be told the expected figures of what it may cost to save her. chances are even with spending the money she won't pull through. This would eat into US for sure, because of a decision i had made on my own.

#mybad just didn't cut it with this one i know i had done wrong, as always though my husband was fantastic about it all. We decided to be able to sleep at night we would do what we could to save her knowing we had done our best and she was not in any pain. So I kinda have to remember that next time he puts a red sock in with the whites if he spontaneously  decides to help with the washing on a rare occasion.

a Gruelling Five days at the vets, back and forth from intensive care hospitals and two de contamination of the house later she was able to come home recovered from parvo. This was a traumatic experience for us, one night we had slept next to her taking it in turns to be awake with her because we thought she was on her way. The ups and downs of those five days were really something i do not want to put myself in the middle of again. We had fully expected parvo to beat her with the odds we had but obviously still had hope for her. . This is a miracle, you don't hear many happy endings with parvo in puppies, there is no cure. They either fight it off them-self with aids of drips and antibiotics to help ease symptoms, but no cure, that's down to the dog. I reported the sellers to the rspca so hopefully this doesn't happen to anyone else, i did get told that they removed the pups and dogs from the home so that gives me a little more peace of mind. Bastards, but without going too much into that and wasting too much energy i must remember my life lesson number two, Kalma. Kalma works by itself not with any intervention from a human so let Kalma do his Job and i will do mine.

Life is happier after that awful experience, I hear Sam laughing so loud in the house now, it was silent alot before or the only word that I heard was mum, like a broken record, 30 times a hour, mum, mum, mum. Sanity was on the brink of extension but now it is slowly coming back!

There's so much more to report on the family front but this i'll bring up to speed throughout my blogs this year.

It's January i'm doing the same as everyone else, setting goals and re evaluating life, probably last about another 3 weeks. Time will tell. My goal for sure is to blog a little more, especially when i feel a little semi famous with lovely inbox messages to say it's made you smile or laugh, or requesting another unusual video. smiles and laughter are little pots of gold and for me is everything in life so knowing i make you smile is awesome and i like to hear that kind of stuff. Laughter makes the world go round, screw that money theorey!

which brings me to the business....

which is why i originally set up this blog five years ago... Things are great. It's been a turning point the last 24 months, in many many ways. Some projects have been dropped and some are flying as high as i imagined them too.. You will never truly understand what is involved in someones job until you step into it for a day. Again as i said before, nothing in reality is ever what it seems in expections, In the beginning people told me to get a 'real job', i didn't but was slated for it, apparently a kept woman, do nothing, pipe dream, can't be done, sitting on my unicorn etc etc

Well, Fuck me, This unicorn is amazing

It's totally weird that in the  last five years, how people completely contradict themselves in terms of opinions.

Now the same people who thought it couldn't be done are the ones that think my life is sorted because i work from home, they tell me how good i have it to have flexibility, to do what i want when i want, they say these things only after they realised i didn't just sell 2 or 3 glasses a week. After they heard Amazon approached us for contracts. After knowing we have a license to with Betty Boop. After they knew that the post office refused to take our bags because we have so many and that the post man picks up from our house. After this had not come from my mouth but a friend or family member that told them the reason they hadn't seen me is because I've become a hermit working on a never ending task list. Blah Blah Blah, What a load of bullshit... if you truly believed in the things that could have been achieved you would have had my back without knowing any of the things listed above. and also in me saying the above things makes me sound a right arrogant twat, I'm at a really nice age in life where the only person i have something to prove to is myself. I do try to only talk about it to the people that ask because work, whatever you do is actually quite a boring subject. Just because i do not 24/7 talk about it does not mean it isn't doing well or i am about to fold, it's actually the opposite.  I am openly grateful to those people for telling you to make you realise that things can absolutely be done, sitting on a unicorn should you choose to do so! I really really want people to believe that they do have it in themselves to do amazing things, what ever the dream may be, how big or how small it doesn't matter. I hope it's an example so these people do not try to crush the next dream or they actually give it a go themselves.

 They see what they want to see, they do not see the 5 am starts and the 11pm finishes, working in the dark of night packing, folding tags on car journeys to fit it in, people constantly in your home working during the manic periods, no weekends. They see the idea of working from home, all the time in the world and life is just tickity boo. The real people in my life see my dog shit face october- December and don't question if i have become critically ill, they know what goes in and why....

Oct-Dec

Vs all the other months of the year.....


































You always offer me a branch, be it helping with sam a few hours of packing, no grief about not seeing me.

I love you GUYS! you make these smiles happen and you know who you are!


 I'm going to sum up the business part talking about the amazing gorgeous people i like to call my  indestructibles. People that knew you could do it from the start, people that raved about what you did, they had your back for you, they believed and seen the journey through with you. The wolf pack will forever and ever be by my side for that reason i'm not sure they will ever know what a little lift meant in times of desperation. Even though time is stretched and circumstances and families have changed for us all there i  still value everything. Your my indestructibles. Thank you! I truly appreciate your friendship. My bestest friends in the whole world and oldest friends who have never once doubted me, in fact you probably gave me the lead for the unicorn and painted it purple for me, i love you and thank you. My intelligent sister in law/ totally practical business partner with the most lovable personality has absolutely without a doubt been a rock, we make a great team, your amazing calculations have defiantly put the profits within the company to a new high. As a group of people you have kept the dream in sight and i am eternally grateful! The fabulous staff, whether you are a painter, a packer or a general box collapser you give it your all! Glad to have found you!
Also to the New people have also come into my life injecting new exciting words of wisdom, a thank you also to you for being interested and offering some valuable wise new roads ahead.


who knows what the future will bring i am under no illusion that tomorrow is a new day and hard times may lay ahead, one thing for sure is the learning curve has given me so many new skills and transferable business skills that i no longer fear the 'what if it went wrong'.

If you too are thinking of doing something no one else can see but you, do it, step out of the comfort zone and do it, let a new path lead you to where you should be, Lifes a massive adventure waiting for us to play if we have the courage.

My big ball of stress is about to happen with doctors appointments, and school run, an injured football player wants the all clear to return to having fun with his friends so until the next blog which i hope is next week (but if i suck at my new years resolution then it will be next year) have fun, hug your kids, keep smiling and don't fool anyone with the tickety boo comments that life is great. it's January, we are all fat, contemplating life and a little depressed, talk to your friends about it!


Muchos love
Mrs Bednell